LR#1 — From Paris With Love

not terribly far off

Foreward

This is the report of my first ever street approach lay. I’ve highlighted a few lessons in italics. Cheers.

The Approach

“Laura” was the last set of my day on 6 March 2021. I’d had fairly poor results that day, with a number of blowouts and a few conversations that were politely ended by the chick. Immediately preceding the set, however, I’d had a long, wonderful conversation with a Belarusian astrologist, and that put me in a positive mood.

I first saw Laura as I was making a final loop around the main daygame area before heading home. She was wearing this extremely bright, borderline neon, blue jacket. I fumbled with my audio setup for a few seconds before deciding “fuck it,” not wanting to lose out on the set. I stacked on the fact that she didn’t look like she was from SF (her coat was ultra-bright, and she wore an intricately-patterned scarf), and, learning that she was from France, made fun of a few French stereotypes. She seemed rather flighty in the beginning of the set, but I kept a rock solid frame— and she stayed.

Eventually, I went for the number, and she readily agreed: “that’s my American number.. I think. In the worst case, you will text some random person.” I found that kind of suspicious, since she’d easily be able to give me a fake number. But I just went with it, joking that “in the worst case, I’ll text a married woman, her husband will find the text, and we will have ruined a marriage.” She laughed at this, and we parted ways.

Texting

She responded to my ping later that evening, and I double-texted a response (generally regarded as a mistake). I didn’t hear from her for a week, and I wondered if my over-invested response ruined things. Before I could send a followup ping, she replied apologetically a week later[1], stating that she was still interested in getting to know me (massive IOI). After some more back and forth banter, I pitched bubble tea, and the date was on!

→ Chicks are random, so have some patience… in the meantime focus on pursuing your larger goals (and collecting more numbers).

Date 1

The bubble tea shop was close to the SF Botanical Garden, which offers free admission for city residents. As Laura didn’t yet have a photo ID, I attempted to smuggle her inside with me. I wrapped my arm around her and handed the attendant my ID. “Does my fiancé also need to show her ID? We live together.” Unfortunately, the cashier still insisted on identification. Laura later told me: “This sort of thing never works for me: people always double-check whether I have a receipt at the grocery store, and so on.” Naturally, I accused her of being suspicious. We found a spot in the main green of the Garden and talked in the sunny afternoon.

Date 2

Outdoor dining had recently reopened, so I took her to my favorite ramen joint in FiDi. Afterwards, we walked along the pier at the Embarcadero where I kissed her for the first time. It was a really windy night so we eventually walked back to my car. She told me where I could drop her off (seemingly an IOD), but I countered with an invitation for “tea.” She agreed to this and we drove back to my place.

I made us tea and put on a classic[2] movie— Vicky, Christina, Barcelona. At some opportune moments of the movie, I went for the makeout but received mixed signals from her. She would pull my head in and kiss me passionately. But after a few kisses, she’d turn her head away completely— a clear escalation killer. This went on for a few times before she said she needed to head home.

Date 3

Laura joined my friends and I at a brewery that was hosting a live music event. After the event, she told me that her place was nearby so she was going to head home (without inviting me along: another seeming IOD!). I asked whether she’d had dinner yet, to which she replied she didn’t— and so we went to get pizza.

→ It’s hard to determine what exactly a chick is thinking— her efforts to go home during this date and last date seemed like a sign that she wasn’t interested in more (most chicks, if they’re interested, will follow you damn near everywhere and won’t suggest leaving unless they have somewhere else to be). In this case, a small amount of perseverance paid off, and the date continued.

After we ate the pizza at my place, we retired to the couch in a food coma. I went for the kiss again, and this time she didn’t turn away. +1 🇫🇷 !

Reflections

Online dating was particularly brutal during COVID, combining the inherently crappy gender ratio of SF with decreased population (many chicks left the city entirely) and much higher wariness (chicks tend to be much more scared of COVID than guys). Although I managed five lays off OLD from March 2020-21 (5/6/6/7/7+), all of the leads except the 7+ faded after the first lay. The total amount of sex I had during that time period was drastically lower than other years.

This is part of what motivated me to get back into daygame in Fall 2020, aside from the well-documented problems of Tinder. Laura herself was not on any apps as far as I was aware, and, even if she was, I’m not sure I could have competed with the other guys online. Daygame offered salvation from being stuck at home, frustrated— it is the reason I instead spent my last moments in California driving through the vineyards of Napa, eating quality cheese, and, of course, getting copiously laid.


[1] She later told me that it was a combination of being sick and general wariness of meeting a stranger off the streets.
[2] Credit to Seven for this tip.

2 thoughts on “LR#1 — From Paris With Love

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